The menopause! Darlings, it’s going to happen to all of us. No matter how much we don’t want to, eventually we will all go through it and seeing as it’s #WorldMenopauseDay today and this years theme for #WorldMenopauseDay is POI (Premature Ovarian Insufficiency) also known as Early Menopause so we thought it was time we talked about why we shouldn’t be scared of menopause, early or not.
Why is the menopause still something women fear?
We live in the 21st century, and women’s life expectancy is about 87-90 years, but the menopause is still a taboo subject. Thankfully, there is now more information around the menopause than for previous generations, but it’s still something that is, in general, not really talked about.
So what is it about the menopause that many women fear?
Is it the fact that the menopause is an obvious sign that we are getting older? After all, hair we can dye, faces we can lift, but we are powerless to do anything about our internal workings.
Or is it simply the fact that it’s an overwhelming experience, just like getting your first period?
I’d love to hear your thoughts, please add them in the comments section below.
What changes are we so afraid of?
There’s the obvious, and unpleasant symptoms many of us will experience, to some extent or another; hot flashes, sleep problems, mood swings and weight gain.
But for many, there’s also a huge feeling of loss.
Loss of fertility
The most obvious loss we experience when we hit menopause, is the loss of fertility.
For some women this can be particularly hard, especially when it suddenly hits that, that’s it, no more chances to have children. And it can be especially hard if they are going through an early menopause, or have struggled with fertility issues.
Loss of youth
The menopause seems to be an invisible line between the folly of youth and the downward decline towards the inevitable end.
Loss of visibility
I’m not talking eyesight, although looking after your eye health does become more important, no I’m talking about feeling invisible.
Rather than feeling like we still have something left to offer the world in terms of wisdom and experience, we are seemingly cast aside. The chances of getting jobs diminish as rapidly as your fertility when you hit 40 and as children generally hit the teenage years as we hit the menopause we become less relevant as a care-giver, which leaves us feeling redundant and unwanted.
How can we feel more positive?
Menopausal symptoms aside, the one most important thing we can do as we embark on the journey is to keep a positive mind-set.
Yes, it’s easier said than done, and maybe ‘keep a positive mind-set’ is an overused mantra by every so-called guru out there, BUT maybe the reason it’s used so often is because there’s some truth to it?
The mind is a curious thing, but I believe there is power in our thoughts. As a reader of many, many personal development books, my personal mantra is a combination of two of them: “Flip it, or f**k it!”
And when it comes to the menopause, it’s definitely a good mantra to try and incorporate into your thinking. It basically means flipping the problem and looking at it from the other angle, and if you still can’t come to a reasonable conclusion then try and ignore it.
No more periods (and No more PMS!)
You might not be able to have children any more, but if you flip your thinking, the good news post-menopause is no more monthly visitors.
No more tampons, night pads, cramps, bloating and the threat of leaking.
How can that not be a good thing?
You’re only as old as you think
Research has shown that people who think young, remain young, and I’m a firm believer in that. My mantra on this topic, I have a few, that I impart to my son on this very subject is that growing old (in the bodily sense) is compulsory, but growing up isn’t.
Just because you’ve transitioned through menopause does not, in any way, shape, or form mean you are past it. Far from it.
You’ve still got, hopefully, at least another 30 years of life to live to the fullest. So what’s the point of thinking the menopause is the end? Think of it as a new beginning.
Find your voice
The good thing about hitting your 40s and the menopause era, is that we generally stop thinking and over-thinking about what other people think about us.
So, it’s time to find your voice. Maybe it’s time to stand up for yourself, say how you’re feeling or saying no. Maybe it’s time to trade in that dead-end job, find your passion and turn that into a new opportunity.
When we stop worrying what other people think about us, it makes us stronger in the pursuit of what we really want out of life.
Now, this does come with a proviso and that is by finding your voice we mustn’t silence anyone else. We’re all entitled to our opinions and to debate those opinions, but to do this we must respect that other people may have opinions that differ from yours.
When it comes to the menopause, the choice is yours. You can either try and fight it, or embrace it and like a butterfly emerge reborn.
And yes, you can wear purple!
How will you approach menopause? Let me know in the comments.
Until next time darlings.
Claire
Xx
