When we consciously acknowledge and accept who we are and our desires, we might find we are more open, honest and true to ourselves, creating good mental health and positive thinking. Often intersubjective reality (doing things because others do) leads to behaviours of the group e.g. society not our own.
Freedom can often seem daunting, the psychology of human nature likes routine, familiarity and a feeling of safety. In fact, positive emotions increase with routine behaviour. Why? because routine is f’in safe Darling and not feeling safe can cause us to produce stress hormones, such as cortisol and adrenaline.
So, look at your current Mental health and ask;
- Has your routine meant you have fallen into a reactive status quo of boredom rather than a proactive ‘come at me’ mindset?
- Think to yourself, when was the last time you felt excited, when did you last feel truly you.
- What true aspirations do you have, consider what actions are you currently taking towards the life you planned?
- Ask yourself does your occupation (note occupation is anything that gives you, your purpose – not just your employment) match your heart and ability or does it just bring stability?
Why are these questions so important?
If we are constantly thrown into tasks, roles and relationships that don’t fit with us this creates a sense of excess pressure and demand – or in other words stress. Stress is a descriptive term stolen by humans from the engineering world, interestingly stress itself is not a diagnosis, however, we often use it to describe our mental health.
Through creating stress, we test our resilience, you can liken your resilience to an internal stress bucket Darling. Our stress bucket can overfill, or in other words, our resilience can be pushed past its limit. When this begins to happen our ‘stress signature’ is triggered; how you behave, think or how your body physically responds when our mental health is tested.
So how do we aspire to be our true selves? Well, a good start is to question what you are doing with the ‘Five Whys’.
I went to University – why
Because that’s what you do at 18 – why
Because society suggests so – why
Because groups of humans create social norms – why
Because it creates safety – why
Instinctual behaviour tells us so.
I went to University – why
Because after 7 years in my career I was finally in a place where I know what I want to study – why
Because my age has given me the chance to grow self-awareness and learn about myself – why
Because I have been through many experiences that have taught me about what I like and dislike – why
Because I had to pick options at the time and learn from them – why
Life is so.
I like to use this tool on the men I date Darling, the only catch being you don’t usually get past the first why without coming to a halt.
Another tip to grow your self-awareness is to notice when things don’t feel good or in other words when your stress signature starts to reveal itself because your mental health is challenged. Notice the behaviour and trace it back to the feeling or thought that triggered it, doing this is very similar to using the hot cross bun of CBT.
In today’s world where so much of what we do is ‘just because’ and the world is so fast, it is becoming more integral to slow down and process why we are doing the things we do. The danger of this is that in 10 years from now Darling you may turn around and be asking why from a whole other perspective.
Aligning with our true path and being self-aware is one of the biggest things we can do to encourage good mental health.
So, you do you, Hun!