I Will be a Good Mother: The Silver Lining of a Negative Childhood

The Hormona Team

A vast majority of us are guilty of dwelling on our pasts, me included. I look back on my childhood with anger and resentment, thanks to my biological mother and former foster mother; one being incapable and selfish, the other being manipulative and cruel.

I’d always been a little adult instead of a child when it came to mothering my sisters but, at times, I wish I could have experienced everything that all other kids my age had. My tender age was only ever apparent to me when I was faced with the fury of my stepfather. I was finally taken away from it all but found myself even deeper into Hell with a woman who saw me as a scapegoat and emotional punching bag. My only solace were the four walls of my bedroom.

Neither were very good role models for a young girl.

But (and it’s a big but) I’m thankful for the valuable lessons I learned from them both:

  • Because of my bio mother’s incompetence, I learned how to care for a baby at the age of 6 and remember it all to this day,
  • Because of her selfish choices I know never to choose a man over my children (in fact, my children will always be my upmost priority),
  • Thanks to my foster mother’s constant furious screaming, I know to stay calm and talk to them when my kids do something wrong,
  • Thanks to her obvious hatred I know what unconditional love will feel like when I look at my own children,
  • And thanks to both, I know that when my child spends all their time in their room, it’s a sign that something is troubling them, and they need me.

My biggest fear has always been ending up as a bad mother and at times it drags me into paranoia, but deep down I know that my children will be loved, happy, and free to be themselves.

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Posted By  : The Hormona Team

The Hormona Team

The Hormona Team

Articles by the Hormona team are written by the amazing people that are, or have been, involved in Hormona and who all stand behind the cause and purpose of educating and empowering women to live better and healthier lives. It’s all of our goal to share personal stories, helpful information, tips, tricks and experiences to help other women in our community in their daily lives and on their hormonal health journey.