Being a Wing-Woman to support our single friend who has turned 30.
Last we had swallowed the hard truth of how to keep friend-shipping with her now we are coupled up. We should be proud of ourselves as it went down well to acknowledge and act on letting our single friend be our single friend. She has recently, on her own accord, expressed wanting to up her dating game. After being encouraged by the people she has met through the activities we arranged that did not revolve around dating. We got all giddy when imagining her with them on their wedding day before pumping the breaks when she says, ‘I want to meet someone but I’m not looking.’
Sometimes spent thinking on what she said does remind us that we had reached that point once. She is expressing to us that she finally high key understands it is not something people who are now in relationships say to their single friends. You can be active, “looking” without giving off a level of needy, “looking”. Turning 30 has affirmed the order of priorities. They start with loving herself and putting her wellness first. She is now ready to love another. We have been patiently awaiting this moment to flex our wing-woman skills. The countless ways we have planned it in our heads can attest to how important it is to do it the right way. To find her the right one, not just someone.
Don’t hide from the new places with new faces and lots of sexes
She is comfortable knowing there is no agenda when we have explored, more than once, those places that do not revolve around dating. It has given her a chance to casually checked out the potentials. She is not comfortable, in fact, even panics, when she has to revisit these places with us now the agenda has shifted a little. It is our duty as her wing-women to calm the panic. Remind her it is not the only reason why we are there but just enough to keep her confident. The minute she hits us with self-doubt, we have to not pander to it. We have to encourage her to think otherwise, so she doesn’t try to hide and close herself off. To get her confident, fun independent woman side to show.
The look of available
Now, we have got her to show her confident side. Wing-women’s guide one-o-one states we need to make her look available. Not in the degenerative woman shaming way when calling a woman desperate for being straight forward with knowing what she wants and how to get it. We have to help her look available by making her an approachable single. We are considered an intimidating species since, we like to travel in packs, their problem not ours. The thought of trying to attract the one of interest without disturbing this dynamic is considered -earth opens up and swallows you in one whole kind of moment. As good wing-women we will ensure this is not daunting for her and the one interested.
It first starts with confident eye contact and a simple smile from her that is inviting enough to be noticed by the one of interest. What we will be doing is not noticing, not interrupting the moment, giving it sometime before we break it with a conversation that will not look like an obvious chat about what has just occurred.
The next phase is for her to get close enough for us, her wing-women, to aid conversation while giving them a little space, so it is not overwhelming but casual and not forced. Since the main agenda was having the shit winded from us with that Bootcamp session. Be sure to let them know you will see them at the next one.
