This is going to be, for me, easy to write. It is time to listen up Darlings as this isn’t going to be easy for you to hear (or read that is) however as you take in the following information you must remember that your current efforts are not fruitless.
Here it comes – You and I need to let our single friend be our single friend.
She is fine being single and we need to stop being awkward – yes, we are- with how you and I friendship with her. Stop worrying that she will feel like the odd one out if we invite her to dinner with our one couple friends who are like so great to do couple-things with. They so are though, right? Don’t worry that she will roll her eyes when she finds out our partner is coming to our meet up that either of us was close to cancelling, your reasons why are your own. Unless she expresses to us that she exclusively wants to hang out with single people and we should call her when we are, to take it from there, then we need to stop protecting her. You and I do mean well, it’s just how we are trying to “mean well” can be elevated. Let’s upgrade our support to her, now that she has hit the 30 years old mark and societal pressured measures are not being ticked off her list besides her promotion.
New places with new faces and lots of sexes
Lots of sexes don’t mean what you thought because I innocently meant the gender that our single friend will date. First of all, we need to encourage her to make friends with this gender before anything else can happen. We must take her to places where they are likely to be hanging out but is not the main agenda and are places that do not revolve around dating. These places have to be where she wants to go but do not dare to venture to like a Bootcamp that is a fun, sweaty and endorphins- brain happy hormone -boosting activity. It will do her good to go and it will do us good to spend time with her without conversations about dating or daily life challenging functions. There are lots out there to choose from which we know will suit her style. It will be fun to make another outing to get the sportswear to help her feel good and remind her to look good for her and not anyone who will be looking.
Work with the area she lives in to keep it in the community spirit as there will be a few to choose from like a choir-less choir group. It’s a choir for people who can’t sing but enjoy singing and want to meet people who want to have fun singing while they don’t take themselves too seriously.
RVSP her to everything
We should stop worrying about how she will fit in at an intimate dinner party since it seems we are finally old enough to care about doing things like this. She will be fine and will want to be invited. We should think of it as a chance for us to discuss life outside of the topics of babies and partner quagmires. Another thing we need to stop doing is waiting for her to suggest an outing. It will be appreciated and should impress her. We showed her we are still her friend and remember what that is and how to do it. She is not just our single friend. She is simply our friend.
These are scenario A of the singles strife with couples. Scenario B is the two single 30s excluding their, us, coupled friend as they think she had it coming and did it to herself. On another day we will tackle that one. It is just good to be mindful of it. Yet isn’t it insane how much of a problem this is? Thanks to the conversations like these, we can widen the view on expectations imposed on the states of our lives.
