In life it is easy to focus on the negatives rather than the positives. Any failures or bad things that happen tend to effect us more, as it is easy to get caught up in over thinking what has happened and allowing it to bring us down. There are lots of different things we can do to help change our mind-set and start to develop ways of finding and focusing on the positives in our lives. It is important for our mental health to steer clear of constantly bringing ourselves down, in order to achieve inner peace, we need to be able to find the good.
Here are some methods which can help start to change your negative thinking behaviours.
Try not to Overgeneralize
To be understood, this is when we believe that if one bad thing happens to us then we instantly assume that everything else is destined to go wrong. For example, phrases like ‘This never works’, instantly puts whatever you are trying to do into a negative. By thinking ‘This didn’t work last time, how can I try it differently’, allows you to take a breath and actually consider how to fix whatever the problem may be. This way you can hope to expect a more positive outcome.
Write Down Your Feelings
Selfish Darling’s own Gratitude Journal is a great place to start! It is designed to help improve your inner strength and happiness through being able to write down your feelings and starting and ending each day with something that has made you grateful. Taking time out each day purely to focus on what you are grateful for is a perfect starting point for training yourself into concentrating on the positives in your life.
Don’t ‘Should’ Yourself
When we tell ourselves that we ‘should’ be a certain way or ‘should’ be doing something in particular, we are putting a negative judgement on what we are currently doing. You assume that there is something better that you are supposed to be doing and that your current state is inferior to that. Whilst it is good to strive for better we don’t have to be perfect, look at your current situation and find what is going well there.
Try Not to Take Everything Personally
Now this one can be quite difficult. We often instantly assume that any bad situations or comments are within reference to ourselves but most often this isn’t the case. Our insecurities can lead us to believe that other people’s reaction are our fault when in reality these other people are just generally insensitive or having a bad day themselves.
We need to realise that other people’s opinions don’t have to effect us, if someone doesn’t like you or something that you’ve done then so be it, that is their problem. So long as you have faith in yourself that is what is important, not what other people may think.
When something good does happen or you achieve something that you are proud of then recognise this and celebrate it! There are always going to be set backs in life, they can’t be avoided, so when something good comes along don’t miss the chance to seize it. Enjoy the success of achieving a goal and treat yourself to something no matter how big or small. In order to become more positive, allow yourself to enjoy the good things in your life.