Suffering is an inevitability in life. It comes in the form of grief, heartbreak, stress, anxiety, health issues and many more. Although there is no one way to deal with any type of pain, giving yourself the love you need is one of the most important things you can do.
Just like you would be there for a friend, learning to be there for yourself is that much harder. Here at Selfish Darling, we truly believe that giving the love you deserve to yourself is the most beautiful route to happiness. Learning to be there for yourself will ease your suffering and reveal your inner strength.
Don’t Blame Yourself
Things go wrong for many reasons. Whether it’s a relationship or an unfortunate event, nothing will ever entirely be your fault. Even if you are to blame for some of it, accepting that it is in the past is the only way you’ll be able to move on. Be understanding that certain circumstances that led to your decisions were out of your control.
Give yourself Time
Surrender yourself to the stages of suffering without letting them engulf you. If you lock up your feelings, they’ll only wait for you later in life so try to deal with each one that comes to you. Time is always the greatest healer so whatever you’re feeling now is temporary. Recognise each of your feelings; denial, anger, sadness, futility. Acknowledge each one as a lesson, let yourself feel it and let yourself move on.
Record Your Feelings
Everything that life gives you is a lesson of some kind. Hard times are a true test of strength and personal resilience so learning from yourself is the way to grow as a person. Get used to recording your inner thoughts and don’t ever be shy of how you truly feel. Use a Gratitude Journal or voice record your feelings all in one place. The important thing is to give language to how you’re feeling in your gut. This is a form of acknowledgement which in turn, will help you to deal and move on.
Give up the need to be completely perfect. The most beautiful thing about you is that you’re imperfect and you’re working on it through everything you do. Always remember that you’re doing great! Find the encouragement that you would give to your closest friends and family and give it to yourself too. The fact that you’re still going shows so much perseverance, stamina and determination. Where ever you are on your journey to happiness, you’re doing fabulously.
Practice Self-Love in Everything You Do
This means becoming aware and staying present in all of your daily activities. Dealing with suffering means eventually living a normal life after a trauma. Though the memory of the trauma is likely not to leave you, your life will continue and the sun will rise and set every day. Stay mindful during everything you do and repeat encouraging affirmations to yourself.
Ask for Help
Self-love doesn’t always mean doing it all by yourself. It’s okay to ask for help and often, professional help is a great way to dealing with traumas and stress when it’s out of our depth. You’re not weak or a failure when you seek help and remember, it takes a lot of bravery to share your problems.
Don’t bother treating yourself to material things or overindulging in things that are bad for you because they won’t make you feel happy in the long run. Instead, take a walk in nature, eat delicious and nutritious food and spend time on making yourself feel good. Love comes in all sorts of forms so give yourself holistic appreciation in all the ways you can think of.